ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence often make gathering our attention or maintaining focus especially challenging but that doesn’t mean that meditation is anymore out of reach then a walk down the hall or that neurodivergent folx can’t be among the most skilled meditators.
Read moreIntention <-> Attention <-> Attitude
Mindfulness is one of those words that can be defined and re-defined so many ways and so many times that it becomes almost meaningless and nowhere near focused enough to give us the sense of purpose we were looking for in the first place. Shauna Shapiro’s Intention + Attention + Attitude model describes mindfulness as a sense of awareness that occurs when all three of the above support each other in focusing on one point. Remember that mindfulness is always a moving target and, if we ever catch it, the mere act of noticing how mindful we’re being shakes us out of it.
Read moreMindfulness, Math and Meta Self-Compassion
Through this practice we remind ourselves that we are the source of our own pain, that we are the recipients of that pain and that we are responsible for soothing that pain. In this exercise it may seem that we are rewarding ourselves for the behavior we want to change. Instead you are rewarding yourself for being mindful, for being aware and present with the part of yourself that is hurting. In fact we are not only our own worst enemies but also our own victims and our own best support.
Read moreThe Self-Compassion Break
If you are new to the study of mindful self-compassion or are seeking to refresh or re-explore your practice with a beginners mind, what follows is an overview of the exercise breaking down the essential elements, a collection of tips, tricks and best practices and a summary of the research supporting these strategies.
Read moreAn Introduction to Mindful Self-Compassion
Find a podcast version here
An exhaustive overview of the foundational components of mindful self-compassion as conceived of by minds like Kirstin Neff, Tara Brach, Paul Gilbert and Christopher Germer.
Read moreVC Resources: Compassionate Minute
This brief mindfulness exercise may help teach the basics of presence, or awareness, that makes up one half of mindfulness. While the other half is acceptance, this exercise emphasizes compassion, a tool to allow for acceptance. Consider this a fundamental building block on your road to a deeper meditation practice, a richer and more self-compassionate thought life or a more balanced wellbeing.
Read moreHow My Ankles Taught Me Self-Compassion
It took me 10 years of running to eventually realize that working out wasn’t about punishing myself into being a better person. Instead it’s something I set aside time for not just because I love/hate it, but because it makes me personally a better version of myself. Instead of trying to beat myself into becoming a harder worker, I’ve found that I am better, faster, stronger the more I’m willing to nurture, nourish and support myself.
Read moreVC Resources: Accepting Anger
“Anger is just the distortion of an unmet need”- Marshall Rosenberg’s famous maxim is meant to remind us of the cost associated with using violence to meet our needs. Violence can come in the form of resistance, avoidance, aggression, coercion and even verbal and physical violence and abuse. While anger has its role to play in our lives it’s effectiveness as a form of inter- and intra- personal motivation grafts an unnecessary layer of violence onto a need-meeting strategy that has simply been distorted. It clouds our judgement and often makes the complex constructs of trust, gratitude and ultimately acceptance too slippery to get a hold of.
Read moreVC Resources For Sleep
Sleep is the cause of and solution to more of life’s problems then our culture allows us to possibly imagine. Consider these resources as a collection of tools to build the sleep practice that meets your needs- some may fit you better then others so stay curious as you work slowly to create something that empowers you to be the best version of yourself. Above all, remember how important your sleep is and show yourself a little bit of kindness and self-compassion, especially around the fact that sleep is hard in our society! Hopefully these tips and tricks will help.
Read moreVC Resources: Stress Response Cycles
What stresses you out? I mean besides global pandemics, chaotic governance, patriarchal heteronormativity and economic models that put more emphasis on pieces of flair and rainbow fonts then worker’s rights and reasonable quotas, that much goes without saying. Regardless of what your stressors look like, it’s important to remember that coping with stress isn’t the same as ‘fixing the problem’ or removing the stressor.
Read moreVC Resources: Radical Acceptance
You may see the equation of suffering= pain x resistance as the distillation of thousands of years of buddhist philosophy or as the concentration of modern psychology, in either case this intuitive idea leads to a logical conclusion contrary to instinct- you don’t have to fight pain. Acceptance, compassion and trust may seem like noble ideals but by putting our self-preservation energy into the right places we can harness our instincts towards adaptive strategies that free us from scrupulous ideas of fairness or intractable feelings of malaise and bring us genuine relief. The resources below explore self-compassion and radical acceptance in the hopes of offering comfort and peace.
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