A few weeks ago, when I hosted an episode of Talk Heathen for The Atheist Community of Austin’s Atheist Experience Network, I agreed to solicit calls about pornography from our viewers. There are genuine issues to discuss and real nuance within the world of commodified relationships and cinematic sexuality but I’m rarely given the opportunity to get past “But porn is Bad because God says so” and since I’ve yet to see much in the way of god existing, I have a hard time taking an interest in what angry crackpots think he says. As you can see in the excerpts below things didn’t really advance from there.
Read morePoly Marriage Equality
Intro to Poly Resources- Opening Up IS LIKE Going On A Road Trip
Democrats succumb to political reality on same-sex marriage bill by Brooke Migdon and Al Weaver for The Hill
What the Respect for Marriage Act does and doesn't do by Devin Dwyer for ABC News
Marriage Equality by Dominick Evans from the Center for Disability Rights
What’s Next In ‘Marriage Equality’ For People With Disabilities?’ by Andrew Pulrang for Forbes
Senators seek to clarify gay marriage bill doesn't protect polygamy by Andrew Solender for Axios
It’s Time to Legalize Polygamy by Fredrik deBoer for Politico
No, Polygamy Isn’t the Next Gay Marriage by Jonathan Rauch for Politico
Dating Reality
Turned off and turned on: Why are reality dating shows so addictive? by Steph Arnaldo for Rappler
It's Time We Talked About 'Experts' on Reality Dating Shows by Meg Walters for Giddy
Experts Explain Why We Love Reality Dating Shows, Even Though We Know They're Fake by Dina Cheney for Good House Keeping
Reality dating shows promote a toxic view on love by Matthew Keyser for Daily Titan
Do Reality Shows Affect How Viewers See Real-Life Relationships? from Newsy
Reality Dating Shows: The messages being sent by programming depicting “real” relationships. by Marisa T. Cohen for Psychology Today
Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Reality Dating
Television Programs, Attitudes Toward Sex, and Sexual Behaviors
Eileen L. Zurbriggen1,2 and Elizabeth M. Morgan Sex Roles, Vol. 54, January 2006
Where is my fat bisexual alien goblin king?
Few things make the internet’s collective butthole pucker up with rage more then the idea of fat people… I dunno, existing, let alone having a gender or sexuality of any sort. I’d tell you to check the comments section if you don’t believe me, but no one needs that in their life. Instead, with the help of writer and enby historian Dianna E. Anderson, let’s build a more gender inclusive, fat liberated world.
Read moreMeet Doll Master Ricky
One of our very first ever calls on Secular Sexuality involved a newly opened ‘sex doll brothel’ and a therapist turned podcaster in way over his head. Now years later I’m thrilled to finally dive deep into the soft silicone world of love dolls and human like sex toys. The ethics, the thrills and the sheer ‘why’ness of it all should be an excellent conversation thanks to this week’s guest Doll Master Ricky. Catch the conversation below at 7p CT 9/29 and be sure to check back here afterwards for some footNOTES!
Read moreMonkeypox with SDB
I mean who has time for another potential pandemic, in this economy? Come’on. But, as we’ve all recently learned, global health crises aren’t the type of thing you can blow off so I sat down with Student Doctor Ben to learn what we know, what we fear, and what we’re doing about it.
Read moreBig Beautiful World
The Real Meaning Of BBW by Marie Southard Ospina for Bustle
BBW Past & Present from BBW Magazine
Big Beautiful Data from PornHub Insights
The Actual Nuts and Bolts of Making Plus-Size Porn by Gina Tonic for Vice
Meet the Body-Positive Porn Stars Busting Myths About Plus-Size Sexuality by Nicolas Didomizio
Inside the Gut-Stuffing World of Feederism by Hillary Eaton for Vice
Doing porn helped me love and respect my fat body by Chimaera Gray for Offbeat Home
How To Make Money as a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) Online? from AdultCreator.co for Medium
Interview with Kelly Shibari BBW Porn Star from I Wear Odd Sockz
Autonomy with Sinn Sage
After tonight’s episode explore these past ideas around communication and boundaries
Eve Was Framed
Sex education seems like one of those fields where it’s all fun and games until you have to explain to someone why their favorite TV show is actually sexist AF. And yes, we like to have a good time, I swear we don’t do this on purpose, but unfortunately, a lot of things in life really are secretly sexist. So we invited a sanity saving social media siren to our secular podcast on sexuality to suss out the shameful and the silly in our unsceptically scrupulous society and hopefully to make a slightly better world. Catch the conversation between Christy and Eve Was Framed as we explore the day to day patriarchy of ‘Man Cave’s and more, plus what’s turning us on this week on SecX!
Read moreOn A Date with Phoebe Rose
There are so many taboos and so much malice in the way cis people interact with trans people that it can feel like we’re wholly different species. As part of SecX’s continuing mission to normalize and connect us with a wide variety of sex, body and gender positivity Phoebe Rose returns to the show to discuss her and other’s experience of life and love in a trans body.
Read moreMastering Masturbation
Over the past few years SecX has spent so much time debunking the myths of masturbation causing blindness and ED and everything else that we may not have taken the time to discuss why we should pretty much all make like educated fleas and do it. This week Sex Coach Shannon Burton joins Kara and I for a conversation about <insert every locker room euphemism ever stated out loud here> and of course your calls and questions.
Read moreThe Philosophy of the MPAA
What if I told you that the shame you feel when a condom commercial interrupts the game you were watching with your parents was the result of a shadowy cabal of mysterious industry insiders? Not from the contraceptive industry or the NFL, from religion or even the ‘Big Family Therapy’ lobby, but from the Motion Picture Association of America, a mystifyingly cryptic relic of post war moral panic. This small and secretive organization with a long and difficult to measure reach is the topic of my conversation with Laura Magee and Josh Enter
Read moreMarriage After Faith
Sex is hard enough to talk about in our society without having to actively unlearn decades worth of hokey religions and ancient bullshit. To talk about sex in a marriage founded on a hokey religion while actively working to re-learn and re-construct your sex life- jedi level. This week ExXtian Erin joins Nate and in a conversation about what it’s like to do just that, while doing our best to pass on a few mind tricks and further your training.
Read moreGender/Role Play
One of the best ways to understand a complex system is to fuck with it, and see what happens. And a little genderfuckery is the perfect way to unleash, unlock, unlearn or understand our gender. To learn what erotic content can teach us about our gender and our selves I’ve invited Summer Hart and Sinn Sage for a conversation about porn, play and plastic penises.
Read moreGender Purity
From seatbelts to power chords there’s an underlying assumption in our society that male goes into female JUST LIKE NATURE INTENDED. We tend to ignore the bees and the bonobos and everyother good goddamn creature under the sun by believing that two complimentary things must go together IN ACCORDANCE WITH GOD’S WILL. Now that we’ve injected a little science to our thinking, what are we left to do with these supposed ideals?
Read moreDating After Deconstruction
Without an all knowing god promising a perfect plan for your life, eternal promises certainly hit a little differently now. If you’ve ever had your reality challenged on that level you can imagine how tricky dating after purity culture can be. Writer and speaker Drew Bekius joins me this week for a personal conversation about life and love after faith loss.
Read moreBringing the Heart into the Present
I know mindfulness can be one of those words that gets thrown around so much it can feel like it hardly means anything. Mindfulness and sex? It’s hard to even imagine what that means- hopefully my conversation with Callye Lawrence can help clear that up. Catch the episode below and be sure to check back here afterwards for some footNOTES!
What’s Sex Got To Do With Mindfulness? by Jeremy Adam Smith for Mindful
How to Use Your Brain to Have Better Sex by Jill Hamilton for Oprah Daily
Mindful Sex by Andy Puddicombe for Headspace
9 Ways Mindfulness Practice Can Improve Your Sex Life by Jason N. Linder for Psychology Today
The role of sexual mindfulness in sexual wellbeing, Relational wellbeing, and self-esteem
Journal of sex & marital therapy, 45(6), 497–509
The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions by Christopher K. Germer
Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love That Heals Fear and Shame by Tara Brach
Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain for Calm, Clarity, and Joy by Shauna Shapiro PhD
Porn, huh?
I was once told that there is one sin that always goes alongside porn- masturbation (*shiver*) . Fast forward a couple of degrees, countless conversations with clients, co-hosts and guests on SecX and uh, a fair amount of personal research and turns out there is just so, so much more to porn. Catch my conversation with Laura and Sinn below and be sure to check back afterwards for some footNOTES!
Read moreTrans Incarceration
It’s conversations like the one I’m scheduled to have with Nell that make me want to dream of a better future. One where violent gender discrimination and institutionalized invisibility don’t further complicate the lives of the already incredibly vulnerable trans folx in our community. Catch the conversation with Trans Pride Initiative President Nell Gaither.
Read moreMasking
Depending on where you look, about a quarter of us are neurodiverse. This can mean dramatically different experiences of the world for nearly half of all couples- but we don’t really talk about it much. Ready to shine some light on the ways we hide these relationships or mask ourselves while in them is Marie D’Elephant, friend of the show and everyone’s favorite agnostic.
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