Sex is great and all but have you ever been wrapped up in a blankie like a burrito while watching cartoons and eating chicken nuggies? What about having your head scratched while you fixate on a squirrel through a window? If not be sure to watch this week’s episode of SecX where we work to get out of bed and into the headspace of puppys and littles through caregiver-little relationships.
Read moreThe Non-Prophet's Sextacular
My first appearance with the ACA, or really anywhere, was on The Non-Prophets, a show working to unpack the news of the week through an atheistic lens. After a lot of water under that particular bridge, The Non-Prophets has gotten something of a face lift and producer Johnny P Angel joins Secular Sexuality to bring a little of that razzle dazzle to our stage, plus your calls. Catch the show live on 4/1 7p CT and be sure to check back afterwards for some footNOTES!
Find the podcast version here or wherever you podcast
Read tonight’s articles for yourself-
New York City moves to dismiss hundreds of prostitution cases, decriminalize sex work by Aaron Katersky for ABC News
Atlanta Killings: Sex Worker Advocate Sees Deadly Consequences Of Overlapping Hatreds by Emma Bowman for NPR
Stuart Robert on ‘crusade’, says woman who hired sex worker on NDIS by Luke Henriques-Gomes for The Guardian
White Knuckle Heteronormativity
Whether you’re super-straight or ultra fabulous, high fem or hyper macho, a relationship anarchist or a marriage traditionalist I’d like to ask you a question- aren’t you tired? I don’t mean to dismiss anyone’s identity (valid ones anyway) but I have to wonder if there isn’t a little more room for curiosity, flexibility and balance. Join Vi and I as we host Arden of Eden in a conversation on the potential pitfalls of black and white thinking in our self-descriptive adjectives. Catch the episode below live at 7p CT 3/18 and be sure to check back afterwards for some footNOTES!
Find the podcast version here or wherever you podcast.
Find Arden on Twitter @Arden_of_Eden and catch Trans Atlantic on The Line
Previous SecX conversations about these topics:
The 'super straight' campaign taking over TikTok is actually just ugly transphobic trolling by Morgan Sung for Mashable
The Super Straights Are Definitely Not Okay by Michelle Santiago Cortes for Refinery29
What is Toxic Monogamy? By Jae Lin for allgo
7 Questions to Ask Yourself When ‘Toxic Monogamy’ Is Affecting Your Relationship by Erin Bunch for Well+Good
Is Toxic Monogamy Impacting Your Relationship/s? by Svea Wentzler for A Better Life Therapy
Toxic Femininity: Is acting as fragile and frivolous internalized misogyny? by Ritch C. Savin-Williams for Psychology Today
HIV in 2021
No doubt you’ve used the word ‘pandemic’ more then you ever cared to recently and, while we’re just beginning to see the faintest rays of reprieve, we’ve no doubt got far to go. The good news however is that nearly 40 years after the first identified cases of HIV/AIDS, we may see more then one pandemic end in the coming months and years. Vi and I are joined this week by Cynthia McDonald, an HIV case manager, activists educator and advocate to learn more about the advancements in treatment and to update a deadly reputation that may have outlived it’s application, plus your calls!
Read moreGender Critical Thinking with Cindy Plaza
The atheism community prides itself on skeptical, critical thinking. For more then 2 years now every episode we’ve done highlighting trans issues, focusing on the science of gender, the error of biological sex and the rationale for trans policy, only to meet more then our fair share of trolls and troglodytes. This week we are joined by The Path of Reason host Cindy Plaza to discover whether or not critical thinking can support the gender critical trans exclusionary radical feminism we see so much of in our society.
Read moreNeuroception with JustinLMFT, the Polyvagal Podcaster
Ever hear a door close and feel a sudden feeling of dread? Or buy a new car and realize seemingly for the first time just how much stress that old transmission was causing? Don’t worry, you don’t have ESP, psychic premonitions or copy-righted spider based super powers- instead you’re experiencing one of the most primitive and powerful pieces of human evolution! Stephen Porge’s pioneering work on the polyvagal theory lead to the discovery of another (increasingly accurately named) 6th sense- neuroception. Join Vi and I as we interview polyvagal podcaster Justin Sunseri, host of Stuck Not Broken.
Read moreAlice Little Vs The Status Quo
Anyone who saw Alice on Secular Sexuality last summer shouldn’t be a bit surprised to learn she’s been making headlines this winter, fighting for sex-worker rights. The country’s highest-paid sex worker is also one of the loudest when it comes to sex worker rights and is leading the charge in a lawsuit aimed at the state’s discriminatory practices in managing the COVID-19 pandemic. Take a look as we anxiously await the results of the suit, raise the alarm about the state of sex worker rights and take your calls and questions.
Read morePolyvagal Theory with Annette James
Whether you’re a client of mine, a fan of my videos or my poor long-suffering partner, if you know me at all you’ve probably heard me talk about Polyvagal Theory. This scientifically grounded yet very approachable model for understanding mood, safety and communication is one of the cornerstones of my work as a therapist but increasingly it serves to remind me that feelings are not magic connections to some idealized world of being, but rather amoral and a-theistic aspects of our humanity. This week Annette James returns to the show to offer her insights into this evolutionary neurobiological model for minds, memories and more, plus viewer calls!
Read moreFinding Your Voice
Billie was one of our last guests to join the show back on Earth That Was and comes back to us with an important idea for our new digital world- the way people hear your voice matters. This summer we began collecting pronouns from our callers because the more often we see ‘she/her’ paired with a booming baritone the more easily we can drop the gender critical bullshit and recognize that any voice can come from any one. And, as we work to make ourselves a more accepting society, Billie walks us through some of the dangers and opportunities found in the world of voice therapy.
Read moreASD With Miss-O-Kissed
Autism spectrum disorder and our scientific understanding of human diversity and grandeur have only evolved in sophistication in recent years. As the truth of our neurodiversity comes to light we have greater and greater opportunities to understand, love and care for ourselves and one another. Over the summer Miss-O shared with us her journey and insights as an ace in burlesque, now she joins the show to share her experience of an ASD diagnosis and what she’s learned about life, love and sex- plus your calls!
Read moreSex+, Male+, Hypnotic & Erotic In the Garden with Eve
We recently introduced you to the world of erotic audio and now eagerly invite you into Eve’s Garden. Eve writes and produces world class sex positive, male positive hypnotic and erotic audio for the discerning connoisseur and joined Vi and I last week to titillate us with stories of hands free orgasms and the healing power of human sexuality. Join us as we roll the tape and take live calls, exploring erotic hypnosis and the nature of porn.
Read moreScibabe
’m not sure what the existence of SciBabe, Yvette d'Entremont’s science journalist brand and alter ego, really says about the world. On the one hand the need for junk science debunking and sensationalized science reporting feels like a sign of our times. On the other, holy shit is it cool that you can make a career for yourself taking down food bloggers and learning how to sleep. This week we invite Yvette to the show with binary sex, porn addiction and gas station supplements in our sights, plus your calls!
Read moreUnderstanding Ageplay
Baby. Daddy. Mama. We use a lot of these words when we refer to our partner but we rarely stop to ask why. What if there’s a deeper way to relate these feelings of intimacy and care taking? Brett Turner and fan favorite Serafina Smith join the show to walk us through the big, sometimes sticky, world of little relationships.
Read moreWe Glimmer
My career in counseling has been motivated by a desire to understand love- to seek it out, slay it’s enemies and make it central to my life. In committing to a study in relationships however I found myself 20 years into my education without a single class on sex ed (true story), without any formal training in queer culture or any insights that weren’t shaped around nominally christian white heterosexuals. My efforts to educate myself brought me to the counseling practice hosted on this page and to Secular Sexuality, both of which brought me to Glimmer. This summer, Grace Stephenson launched WeGlimmer.com creating a safe & empowering online space for womxn, QTBIPOC, and LGBTQIA+ communities to find sexual and mental health professionals. Grace joins SecX to discuss access to therapy, starting a business in COVID and to take your calls.
Read moreRudy Bee Fans Only
What’s in a nude? Would a naked picture by any other name still be as hot? Friend of the show and ExCultBaby Rudy Bee returns this week to discuss OnlyFans, Bella Thorne and the subtle art of nakedness plus your calls!
Read moreWTF Is a Poly Viking Power Bottom?
I mean… right? Vi and I often find ourselves trying to suss out the value of neologisms and how to word in this crazy new kinky world of androgynous cat cyborgs. So what are your adjectives? How did you find them, what do they mean and how do they matter? Vi and I are joined by PVPB Julian Oakes Norman to learn more about how to kink and to answer your calls and questions. Take a look below as we overshare and invent words at an alarming rate.
Read moreJK Rowling and the UK Terfs
The world’s most magical TERF seems intent on piling all of her success into a trans-phobic hill for dying on. In our ongoing efforts to eagerly service (ah thank you) THE TRANS AGENDA™ Vi are are excited to speak to Medium writer and XXL activist Katy Montgomerie. Take a look as we explore the wizarding world of the biologically uninformed and answer your calls and questions.
Read moreObergefell and Legalized Morality
It’s only been 5 years since Obergefell v Hodges extended marriage equality to include same sex couples and yet the idea of traveling to another state for a marriage license already sounds remarkably quaint. Flashy news stories about baker’s conscientiously objecting gay wedding cakes have all but dropped out of the news cycle, if not reality. And yet only a week after the Supreme Court extends Civil Rights Act Title VII protections to millions of queer Americans it’s kind of hard to feel like these protections are doing much to drive public opinion. Atheist Experience Network host Rachel Watson makes her long overdue Secular Sexuality debut to help us revisit that classic question, can you legislate morality? Catch the episode below and come back afterwards for some footNOTES!
From Justice Kennedy’s majority decision in Obergefell v Hodges 6/25/2015
Supreme Court Delivers Major Victory To LGBTQ Employees by Nina Totenberg for NPR
5 Years after landmark gay marriage ruling by SCOTUS. lawyer in the case says it’s ‘gone swimmingly well’ by Randy Maniloff for American Bar Association Journal
This Is What LGBTQ Customers Actually Want to See During Pride Month by Nick Wolny for San Antonio Express News
Sorry Mike Pence, but support for same-sex marriage in the US is at a record high – even among Republicans by Lily Wakefield for PinkNews
After Bostock, We’re All Textualists Now by Ilya Shapiro
How to Understand Your Gender by Alex Iantaffi
June Mailbag
With so much to say and so much to do during this wild summer of tragedy and growth, Vi and I are a little behind on our correspondence. Enter one Serafina Smith to help us catch up on emails, take your calls and, with a little luck, catch our breath as we settle into the long journey towards healing and justice.
Read moreENBY Mythbusting w/ ExCultBaby
Everyone loves a turncoat, an apostate. Benedict Arnold, Judas Iscariot, Mordred… or wait I mean George Washington, Saint Peter and Sir Lancelot. Guess it kind of depends on whose side you fall on. Since 2018 ExCultBaby has worked to free people from religious thinking as a professional ex Jehovah’s Witness and atheist activists, highlighting issues of race, gender and sexuality along the way. It’s my privilege this week to join them and Vi as we consider the myths and messages surrounding non-binary folx.
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