When Ellen came out, when Caitlyn Jenner shook up reality T.V. , when Elliot Page broke the internet we heard the same stories about the rise in queer culture and the ‘slippery slope’ of the next generation ‘inventing new problems.’ We’ve pointed out before (more then once) that these identities aren’t exactly new, but revisionist history being what it is there’s a long way to go in setting the record straight. Dianna Anderson joins Rudy and I this week to pick up our pens and pickaxes to unearth and correct the texts, plus your calls!
Read moreTalk Heathen
My final step in completing the ACA infinity gauntlet- Talk Heathen 5.14 4/4/21
Non-Prophetting Again
China proposes teaching masculinity to boys as state is alarmed by changing gender roles by Zixu Wang, Xin Chen and Caroline Radnofsky for NBC News
'It was quasi-religious': the great self-esteem con by Will Storr for The Guardian
A ‘Masculinity Crisis’? China Says the Boys Are Not All Right by Tiffany May for The New York Times
Vatican bars gay union blessing, says God ‘can’t bless sin’ by Nicole Winfield
Vatican breaks silence, explains Pope Francis' civil union comments from The AP
God Virus, The: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture by Dr. Darrel Ray
What drives people to reject their own gender? from The Christian TImes
The Story of Feral Child Genie Wiley by Kendra Cherry for Very Well Mind
Transgender History by Susan Stryker
Trans Day of Visibility 2021: Everything you need to know about the event including how to take part by Hilary Mitchell for Pink News
The Non-Prophet's Sextacular
My first appearance with the ACA, or really anywhere, was on The Non-Prophets, a show working to unpack the news of the week through an atheistic lens. After a lot of water under that particular bridge, The Non-Prophets has gotten something of a face lift and producer Johnny P Angel joins Secular Sexuality to bring a little of that razzle dazzle to our stage, plus your calls. Catch the show live on 4/1 7p CT and be sure to check back afterwards for some footNOTES!
Find the podcast version here or wherever you podcast
Read tonight’s articles for yourself-
New York City moves to dismiss hundreds of prostitution cases, decriminalize sex work by Aaron Katersky for ABC News
Atlanta Killings: Sex Worker Advocate Sees Deadly Consequences Of Overlapping Hatreds by Emma Bowman for NPR
Stuart Robert on ‘crusade’, says woman who hired sex worker on NDIS by Luke Henriques-Gomes for The Guardian
White Knuckle Heteronormativity
Whether you’re super-straight or ultra fabulous, high fem or hyper macho, a relationship anarchist or a marriage traditionalist I’d like to ask you a question- aren’t you tired? I don’t mean to dismiss anyone’s identity (valid ones anyway) but I have to wonder if there isn’t a little more room for curiosity, flexibility and balance. Join Vi and I as we host Arden of Eden in a conversation on the potential pitfalls of black and white thinking in our self-descriptive adjectives. Catch the episode below live at 7p CT 3/18 and be sure to check back afterwards for some footNOTES!
Find the podcast version here or wherever you podcast.
Find Arden on Twitter @Arden_of_Eden and catch Trans Atlantic on The Line
Previous SecX conversations about these topics:
The 'super straight' campaign taking over TikTok is actually just ugly transphobic trolling by Morgan Sung for Mashable
The Super Straights Are Definitely Not Okay by Michelle Santiago Cortes for Refinery29
What is Toxic Monogamy? By Jae Lin for allgo
7 Questions to Ask Yourself When ‘Toxic Monogamy’ Is Affecting Your Relationship by Erin Bunch for Well+Good
Is Toxic Monogamy Impacting Your Relationship/s? by Svea Wentzler for A Better Life Therapy
Toxic Femininity: Is acting as fragile and frivolous internalized misogyny? by Ritch C. Savin-Williams for Psychology Today
Posting from Religion
Call it a generational thing or maybe just proof that I was always destined for this job, but I learned a lot about sex and god as a teen on online forums. That opportunity to hear from people outside of my family and community was an absolute game changer, and much more then most people would expect to find on the 1999 version of the official fan page for the band Creed. This week Nate Smith, a RecoveringFromReligion.org volunteer and forum moderator, stops by the show to tell Serafina and I all about the work of connecting and healing online, plus your calls!
Read moreVC Resources: Stress Response Cycles
What stresses you out? I mean besides global pandemics, chaotic governance, patriarchal heteronormativity and economic models that put more emphasis on pieces of flair and rainbow fonts then worker’s rights and reasonable quotas, that much goes without saying. Regardless of what your stressors look like, it’s important to remember that coping with stress isn’t the same as ‘fixing the problem’ or removing the stressor.
Read moreHIV in 2021
No doubt you’ve used the word ‘pandemic’ more then you ever cared to recently and, while we’re just beginning to see the faintest rays of reprieve, we’ve no doubt got far to go. The good news however is that nearly 40 years after the first identified cases of HIV/AIDS, we may see more then one pandemic end in the coming months and years. Vi and I are joined this week by Cynthia McDonald, an HIV case manager, activists educator and advocate to learn more about the advancements in treatment and to update a deadly reputation that may have outlived it’s application, plus your calls!
Read moreMaking Soulmates
Of all the silly ideas our culture and religious past may have left vestigial in our minds soul mates should be one of the easiest to brush aside right? Of course the reason many of these ideas are so insidious is their ability to convince us that they don’t exist so yes Virginia, there is black and white thinking in relationships. Relationship coach and Everyone’s Autonomous Atheist Marie D’Elephant joins Rudy Bee and I in exploring this deep-seated fiction and finding a spectrum of color in the people we love, plus your calls!
Read morePurity Culture in Black America
The first joke I actually remember my dad teaching me was, fittingly enough, hyper-sexual, racist and way over my head. The punch line made no sense to me, not just because I couldn’t conceive of how someone could eat a bowling ball, but also because I didn’t understand what set black women apart as deserving of judgement. A quarter century later and I’m still not sure I get it but I see the evidence of it everywhere and this week, with the help of Jena Miyu and Vi La Bianca, we’re looking to point out the obvious- like most things in life, the purity culture SecX was built to supplant doubles down on woc. Join us as we take an accounting of the extra challenges of the jezebel stereotype and tackle purity culture within Black America, plus your calls!
Read moreDr. Anna's Period Ponderings
What if basic nutrition was just like, so gross you guys? Or standard hygiene practices were completely misunderstood by like, half of society? That’s not entirely unlike the system we have now when it comes to things, you know, down there. Science communicator Dr. Anna Zakrisson joins the show to take your calls and out-science the stigma of endometriosis and more.
Read moreGender Critical Thinking with Cindy Plaza
The atheism community prides itself on skeptical, critical thinking. For more then 2 years now every episode we’ve done highlighting trans issues, focusing on the science of gender, the error of biological sex and the rationale for trans policy, only to meet more then our fair share of trolls and troglodytes. This week we are joined by The Path of Reason host Cindy Plaza to discover whether or not critical thinking can support the gender critical trans exclusionary radical feminism we see so much of in our society.
Read moreKissing Purity Culture Goodbye with Dr. Darrel Ray
When 2009’s The God Virus eventually led Dr. Darrel Ray to start Secular Sexuality, Purity Culture™ was at the heart of the mission. Now in our third season as part of the Atheist Experience Network Dr. Ray returns to help us understand how we got here and how we can heal. This we’re taking your calls and setting our sights on chewed up bubble gum and the lies that separated us from our sexuality, and we’re all out of bubble gum.
Read moreDating (as) An Atheist Activist
As a scorpio by birth, polyamorist by nature, therapist by training and Aggie by choice I’m well accustomed to the instant unmatch when dating app conversation leads to superficial demographics. But what about deeper questions of belief, morality and activism? Famed atheist Matt Dillahunty and fan favorite and ExCultBaby Rudy Bee join Secular Sexuality to discuss the ins and outs of dating (as) an atheist.
Read moreNeuroception with JustinLMFT, the Polyvagal Podcaster
Ever hear a door close and feel a sudden feeling of dread? Or buy a new car and realize seemingly for the first time just how much stress that old transmission was causing? Don’t worry, you don’t have ESP, psychic premonitions or copy-righted spider based super powers- instead you’re experiencing one of the most primitive and powerful pieces of human evolution! Stephen Porge’s pioneering work on the polyvagal theory lead to the discovery of another (increasingly accurately named) 6th sense- neuroception. Join Vi and I as we interview polyvagal podcaster Justin Sunseri, host of Stuck Not Broken.
Read moreVC Resources: Radical Acceptance
You may see the equation of suffering= pain x resistance as the distillation of thousands of years of buddhist philosophy or as the concentration of modern psychology, in either case this intuitive idea leads to a logical conclusion contrary to instinct- you don’t have to fight pain. Acceptance, compassion and trust may seem like noble ideals but by putting our self-preservation energy into the right places we can harness our instincts towards adaptive strategies that free us from scrupulous ideas of fairness or intractable feelings of malaise and bring us genuine relief. The resources below explore self-compassion and radical acceptance in the hopes of offering comfort and peace.
Read moreAlice Little Vs The Status Quo
Anyone who saw Alice on Secular Sexuality last summer shouldn’t be a bit surprised to learn she’s been making headlines this winter, fighting for sex-worker rights. The country’s highest-paid sex worker is also one of the loudest when it comes to sex worker rights and is leading the charge in a lawsuit aimed at the state’s discriminatory practices in managing the COVID-19 pandemic. Take a look as we anxiously await the results of the suit, raise the alarm about the state of sex worker rights and take your calls and questions.
Read morePolyvagal Theory with Annette James
Whether you’re a client of mine, a fan of my videos or my poor long-suffering partner, if you know me at all you’ve probably heard me talk about Polyvagal Theory. This scientifically grounded yet very approachable model for understanding mood, safety and communication is one of the cornerstones of my work as a therapist but increasingly it serves to remind me that feelings are not magic connections to some idealized world of being, but rather amoral and a-theistic aspects of our humanity. This week Annette James returns to the show to offer her insights into this evolutionary neurobiological model for minds, memories and more, plus viewer calls!
Read moreFinding Your Voice
Billie was one of our last guests to join the show back on Earth That Was and comes back to us with an important idea for our new digital world- the way people hear your voice matters. This summer we began collecting pronouns from our callers because the more often we see ‘she/her’ paired with a booming baritone the more easily we can drop the gender critical bullshit and recognize that any voice can come from any one. And, as we work to make ourselves a more accepting society, Billie walks us through some of the dangers and opportunities found in the world of voice therapy.
Read moreASD With Miss-O-Kissed
Autism spectrum disorder and our scientific understanding of human diversity and grandeur have only evolved in sophistication in recent years. As the truth of our neurodiversity comes to light we have greater and greater opportunities to understand, love and care for ourselves and one another. Over the summer Miss-O shared with us her journey and insights as an ace in burlesque, now she joins the show to share her experience of an ASD diagnosis and what she’s learned about life, love and sex- plus your calls!
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