A sincere moment in the deconstruction of my faith came at the end of high school when a clip of the film ‘Jesus Camp’ played at the Oscars- so many people were sickened and shocked to see the real life manipulations of evangelicalism. For me, the pit in my stomach was firmly centered around not what I saw, but what I couldn’t see. The music? The dancing? Swaying and raising hands? Praying in tongues and anointing others? Which was the part we were supposed to be upset over because all of these things were normal parts of my daily life. That seed eventually led me to the study of psychology, to training in hypnosis and an understanding of altered states and, ultimately, the dissolution of my faith. Years later I’m excited to join Amberly in an interview with Ro, a recording artist and former music minister, to better understand the sincere and not so sincere machinations of emotional manipulation and ‘well meaning’ mind control. All that and your calls of course!
Read moreI’m a great therapist. I think, or atleast it seems like it, but really how would you know and ultimately, atleast a little bit, kind of, who cares? I love my job and I take it seriously enough to always have a book mark in a text, a half finished podcast from some great mind or other and a few dozen unresearched episode ideas for Secular Sexuality. But the truth is, I could be the best therapist in the world (or the worst) and still not be the right (or wrong) therapist for you. This week, two of my favorite therapists join me on Secular Sexuality to talk about how to find a good therapist and more importantly, find the right therapist for you.
Read moreWith so many nerve endings involved it’s not hard to understanding why sex can make us nervous. Whether it’s the performance, the person or the p-rivate parts there’s plenty to get ourselves worked up over. This week Melissa Hargrave joins P*ck and I in understanding the anxiety of couples and copulation plus your calls!
Read moreThere’s so much more to the way we sound then I think most of us realize- not just because of what people think of our voice but what it makes them feel. On a primitive, neurobiological level the shape and motion of our vocal folds says more to the world then you may imagine and this week speech language pathologist Tallulah Breslin joins Serafina and I in working to unlock our true voice
Read moreFetlife is to kinksters like the office coffee maker is to the caffeinated- everyone uses it, no one is particularly impressed with it and a small vocal minority have incredibly strong opinions about it’s proper usage and etiquette. John Kopanas’ problem child of a passion project remains the best available platform for pervy people to meet and mingle despite the Myspace interface. Social media coordinator and certified kinkster Tanjil Wright joins Nate and I this week in understanding the etiquette of direct messaging and dungeon mastering at the intersection of social media and kink.
Read moreThis PRIDE month spare a thought for all the hot hot hot girl on girl action brought to you by straight performers and male photographers. The sexualization and ultimate fetishization of lesbians is nothing new but when LESBIAN is one of the most searched key words of all time it might merit a moment of contemplation- why are men driven to lesbian content? What does the male gaze mean for these performers and lesbian identities? And what the hell is a horny lesbian actually supposed to jerk off to, I mean really? Fan Favorite and adult entrepreneur Amberly Rothfield returns to introduce me to adult performer and producer Sinn Sage for a devilish exploration of lady like erotica.
Read moreIf this year has taught us anything, it’s that for better or for worse, the world we’ve created doesn’t look like the one we were born into. There is little in our evolutionary history that has prepared us for Zoom meetings and 4chan conspiracies and while the next big idea may be just around the corner it’s worth remembering that our culture isn’t necessarily in step with our biology. What this means for the way we understand gender is anybody’s guess but this week Kara Griffin from Recovering From Religion joins Arden and Christy in exploring enby identities through different cultural lenses, unpacking our assumptions and taking your calls!
Read moreIs there anything more privileged then setting yourself up as the group that gets to decide what does and does not constitute a privilege? Weird flex straight people, but passing is not all it’s cracked up to be. Living in a cis-het mono/alo world (with a bias towards religion) is fun enough without having to pretend it’s a pleasure to be placed in somebody else’s party. This week Nate Smith and Helen Greene join me on the show to pick apart the supposed privilege of passing and pay penance for our queer cards.
Read moreSleep is the cause of and solution to more of life’s problems then our culture allows us to possibly imagine. Consider these resources as a collection of tools to build the sleep practice that meets your needs- some may fit you better then others so stay curious as you work slowly to create something that empowers you to be the best version of yourself. Above all, remember how important your sleep is and show yourself a little bit of kindness and self-compassion, especially around the fact that sleep is hard in our society! Hopefully these tips and tricks will help.
Read moreSex is great and all but have you ever been wrapped up in a blankie like a burrito while watching cartoons and eating chicken nuggies? What about having your head scratched while you fixate on a squirrel through a window? If not be sure to watch this week’s episode of SecX where we work to get out of bed and into the headspace of puppys and littles through caregiver-little relationships.
Read morePurity Culture. Homophobia. Organ music. There’s a lot to despise about religion and the trauma that it creates but in between dunking on theists and working to unplug minds from the religious Matrix there’s healing to be had. Janice Selby, a religious trauma therapist and Conference on Religious Trauma organizer joins the show to walk Nate and I through the therapeutic process, to talk about the future of religious trauma healing and to offer some advice on how we can all help, plus your calls!
Read moreFinding the right therapist for you can include everything from a detailed analysis of trainings, credentials and complex philosophical orientations to a gut level reaction to website font colors (I apologize to my fellow Aggies for all the orange). Noah Garcia’s NextQuest podcast is an effort to change all of that by augmenting the 30 minute complimentary consultation with an in depth conversation on who I am, what I offer, what I believe and how I can best help.
Read moreNo one has a patent on homophobia and even the oppressed can fall victim to fear mongering and ignorance. It’s a tragedy that anyone should have to remind people that their lives matter without adding the shame and violence heaped onto the queer community. Even more when some of that hate comes from within your own community. Black Non-believer and atheist activist Kevon Cameron joins me and Rudy as we look to learn about the unique challenges of homophobia for BIPOC, plus viewer calls.
Read moreMaybe every 10th consultation I receive as a therapist is some version of the question- “is it okay that I’m into x?” followed quickly by “how tf am I going to tell my partner/find a partner that’s okay with me being into x.” Having powerful friends often leads to powerful answers so I’m incredibly proud and grateful to be able to flex my little black book and bring in the wisdom of a true rockstar and expert in exactly these questions. Joining me is a business coach quoted in everything from Cosmo to Forbes with a resume to back it up, Amberly Rothfield, phone sex operator and adult industry consultant, has heard it all returns to the show to talk about boundaries, communication and dirty little secrets, not to mention your calls!
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